When many people decide to venture into the world of BDSM, they may go in thinking that they either have to be a sub or a Dom. However, as you get further into the BDSM lifestyle, you may come to realize that you enjoy both of these positions equally. For those of us who enjoy being both sub and Dom at different times, for different reasons, and with different people, we can safely come to the conclusion that we are switches. As far as we are concerned, switches have the best of both worlds. They know what it feels like to be in total control, but they also know how it feels to relinquish that control to a Dom that they trust. If you are not sure whether or not you are a switch, there are a few things you can do to help narrow down your decision.
Let Your Eyes Guide You
While checking out the information found on BDSM site reviews can be helpful, another way to help you decide whether or not you are a switch is by watching both a sub and a Dom in action. You can do this by either attending to a performance that you were invited to, or by simply watching porn of a BDSM scene. If while watching the scene in action, you feel like you could easily imagine yourself in both the place of the Dom and the sub, you could quite possibly be a switch. Even if you have the tendency to prefer one position to the other, but still enjoy both positions, you can still consider yourself a switch.
When You Decide to Switch It Up
If you had previously only performed as one position only, you may be slightly alarmed when you discover that you are a switch, or find yourself longing to switch roles. However, realizing that you are a switch should not be a cause of alarm for you, and if you are someone’s Dom or someone’s sub, it does not necessarily mean that you have to cease being so. Many BDSM site reviews can point you to helpful resources that tell you how you should go about revealing to your Domme or sub that you believe yourself to be a switch, or whether or not you should bother telling them at all.
If you are someone’s sub and you do reveal to your Domme that you are interested in being a switch, she may be willing to let you get your experience with being a Dom, either with her if she is also a switch or with some other willing participant. Your Domme may want to become your mentor and help you to make sure that you are carrying out your role as Dom properly. While the two of you may have difference means of how you carry out your Dom duties, it would be best that you at least take some of her suggestions and considerations into mind. Remember, you trust her enough to allow her to be your Domme, so try to hear her out when she is offering you sound advice that may help you become a good Dom.
If you are Dom and want to experience with being a sub, we recommend that you try contacting Dommes that have a good history and standing in the BDSM world. Whether or not you choose to reveal to your sub your plans of subbing is up to you, but we would like to warn you that keeping secrets from your BDSM relationship does have the tendency to backfire.
If you are unsure of where to begin your search for a Domme, you can start with websites such as FetLife.com which allow you to connect with users and get input on a variety of different BDSM topics.
Fighting Back the Urge
If you have gotten accustomed to being either a sub or a Dom, it may initially be difficult when you first start performing in the opposite role. It is not unheard of for someone who usually subs to be too easy and soft willed when he or she is acting as Dom. In a similar fashion, it does not come as too much of a shock when someone who is used to being a Dom is mouthy, stubborn, or disobedient when acting as sub. However, this is the reason why you must put some effort into your search when you are looking at BDSM websites and BDSM site reviews.
You want a Dom or sub that understands that you are new to this role, and one who is willing to work with you to help you become good at it. For this reason, you may want to deal with experienced Dommes and perhaps less experienced subs since an experienced Dom has probably seen it all and an inexperienced sub does not yet know what to expect.
Whichever role you are learning, you must make sure that you pay attention to things you see and hear. Individuals that are submissive can teach you just as much as those who are dominate. If you need tips or suggestions, try connecting with someone on FetLife.com and ask for different opinions and stories to help you out.
It is not as commonly acted out as some other things in the BDSM world, but there is a possibility that you could have a relationship with another switch and the two of you could take turns switching roles. While it is more common for the two of you to have set days where one of you is Dom and the other is sub, it is not impossible for the two of you to switch during the middle of a scene. This practice might not be something you want to try right away, especially if you are still new to becoming a sub or a Dom. There are too many mixed signals and too many chances for miscommunication if you take this route without fully understanding what the two of you are doing.
However, you know what is best for you and we assume that your partner knows what is best for them. A lot of what goes into the BDSM lifestyle involves trial and error. If you have your mind set on learning to switch within a scene, you will have to make sure you learn about all the consequences and how to handle when things go wrong. While there is a general idea of how BDSM relationships work, not two relationships are exactly alike and you can’t be expecting to adhere to how everyone else carries out their relationships.
There is nothing wrong with switching and you may find that you enjoy it more than sticking to one specific role. But like any role, whether you are Dom or sub, you have to follow rules to make sure that you and your partner are both safe and happy before, during, and after a scene. As with any other relationship, being involved in a BDSM relationship involves honesty, understanding, and communication. If you are not getting these things while you are in a relationship, it may be time to excuse yourself from it. You should get back online and start looking for a new BDSM partner. But do not forget to check out the review of the sites first at thekinkyfactory.com. You can also check the comparison of the sites and their ratings. Whether you want to experience switching permanently, or are just testing it out, make sure you play safe and communicate openly and honestly with the people that you play with. It makes for a more enjoyable scene and life overall.